Ambivalence
[am-biv-uh-luh ns]
noun
1. uncertainty or fluctuation, especially when caused by the inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.
2. Psychology. the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings toward the same person, object, or action, simultaneously drawing him or her in opposite directions.
Yeah, I think this sums it up pretty well how I’m feeling. Technically, this is race week. I say technically because, if you’ve been around here for a bit then you know consistent training has been hard to come by.
I thought after making the decision to drop from the half marathon to the 5-miler a couple of weeks ago, that I could re-focus and charge ahead to crush the shorter distance. Instead these last few weeks have been very up and down – sometimes the piriformis and hip feel good and running is more enjoyable, but other times, the pain radiates down my leg and I’d just assume do anything other than run.
Throw in a schedule both at home and work that are in overdrive and I’m just feeling meh at the thought of running this race this weekend.
I have to say this is a first for me…and what makes it worst is that I really do love this race – I think it’s one of the best Boston has to offer. I want to be excited, but right now the thought of sleeping late Sunday morning is far more appealing.
So the question is…how do you get your head in the game when you’re not excited about a race?
Linking up with Erika, Marcia, and Patty for this week’s Tuesday on the Run – the topic this week is grading your month. 
I totally get this. It’s hard to feel pumped up about something when you’ve been pulled every which way. My question to you is: How will you feel if you skip the race? Will you kick yourself? Or are you at peace with it? If you feel like you’ll be even the tiniest bit disappointed, I’d find a way to run it.
Marcia recently posted…Tower Triathlon Race Recap
Good question Marcia! I’m honestly not sure – guess I’ve got a couple more days to figure it out.
Oh no!!!!!!! Yes, what Marcia asked…how would you feel if you followed through on sleeping in? If it’s a race you dearly love, I would bet once “on the scene,” you’d get some mojo back. And, even if you don’t feel like racing, you still can just take things easy and enjoy the atmosphere. Do you have any friends running it? Or any first-timers who could use an on-course cheerleader? Often times, motivating others comes right back to us 😉 ((hugs)) Keep us posted…
Kimberly Hatting recently posted…Can you say DOMS?
Thanks, Kim. This race really does have a good vibe so you could definitely be right about finding some mojo once I get there.
Honestly, I’ve been ambivalent about many of my races — or even worse, dreading the pressure I put on myself, not feeling mentally ready to push myself for 90 minutes, etc. My way around it was to focus on enjoying the race. You’ve said this is a favorite of yours, so focus on that instead of your pace, etc.
Coco recently posted…Running The Central Park Loop
Interesting. I can so relate to not feeling mentally ready to push hard. I think I was actually really looking forward to pushing myself for this race, but with the silly piriformis thing, I know that can’t happen and it’s really taken the wind out of my sails.
I feel you–most of the time, pre-race, I ask myself why I do this? Rarely am I excited to do a race. I think part of that is fear and lack of confidence, even tho I’ve done the work! Once I line up, tho, I’m really excited and ready to go. Have fun and good luck!
Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home recently posted…How to Prevent 8 of the Most Common Heat-Related Running Issues
Thanks Wendy 🙂
Tough decision. I’ve bailed on a few and I’ve just hobbled through a few. If you are okay with less than stellar performance, then go for it …you never know, that hip may just surprise you race morning and be cooperative! Best of luck!
Teresa recently posted…This Week’s Gallivantin’: Unraveling at 50
Thanks Teresa 🙂
We all feel like that sometimes! I say go buy a cute new top to wear for the race-lol. However, if you feel that your hip will hurt more if you do it then I would not do it. That’s just my 2 cents 🙂
Deborah @ Confessions of a mother runner recently posted…Wrapping Up The Girls On The Run Season
A little retail therapy huh 😉
Aw, sorry you’re feeling so “meh” about your race! Sometimes I feel a bit dragged going to races but once I’m surrounded by the energy I can’t help but perk up! I hope you have a great time!
Janelle @ Run With No Regrets recently posted…Goals for the Buffalo Half Marathon